Thursday, April 30, 2009

The Insurance assurance !

My god is it yr bike that's parked outside the apartment?

I came out of the kitchen to confirm the source of the query. Yes it was Shania, as usual she did nt ring the doorbell.

"Does it still resemble a bike?"
i replied back.

My god! its yrs,how did it happen? when did it happen are you alright??

relax baby,I am superman,the man of steel !

man of steel ???what happened to the orange theory???

ooh that is still valid,I was nt there in the scene of action when my bike face that atrocity.
Then how did it happen??

Well if u could plz enter that room you can see the man of the moment Mr Samir.

s into the room..

? why did he take yr bike?ooh my god! are you ok Samir?

Samir had a fractured left hand and some bruises scattered over his body like a natural art.He was a spectacular piece of natural wonder. I had no idea how and why he was alive and that too in my apartment.Interestingly Samir managed to get up from the bed and say hi to Shania.

Hi Shania! I am ok...just some minor things...I am alright..I am alright...he he..

Ya the minor things have so far cost ed over 1500 bucks...just for the hospital and misc expenses.

what abt the bike? What are you going to do abt that?You have insurance right?

ha ha ha...The insurance..ha ha ha....

What?? what makes you laugh??

Baby!! its a police case now.....Some one has filed a FIR against this respectable man.He doesnt have a driving license.The insurance company wont pay my bills after going thru that FIR report.

Hey buddy! listen i am sorry..I thought that they will run out of stock..That was the reason i was driving rash..

what are you guys talking abt?

Hmm nothing....he's just... he's just gone crazy after the accident.

Shania was puzzled.

They were giving away free samples of Minute maid pulpy orange,So he sent me and this happened.Hey orangee look i am sorry...

I dont blame you,I blame myself.

ooh no blame me...i am the one responsible for this....blame me...

ok i blame you....its you.

How can you blame him?You gave him the bike.You wanted to have those free sample of pulpy orange.che!!! so cheap !!

Alright!! alright!! ceasefire,ceasefire.its over its over..there's no point blaming each other.

I went back to the kitchen and started preparing my cheese toast.Meanwhile Shania went to the balcony so that she can have a proper look of my battered bike.She could stop smiling. And not just a plain smile.It was the "you know i told you very well but you never listened to me" kind of a smile. Damn! I was very angry on Samir.Why the hell did he tell abt the freebie.It was so trivial.He didnt drive properly.

I told you that one day yr lust for oranges would cost you very high...and see it has happened.

he he...I was nt lustful abt the juice. I was only helping those college gals finish off their part time work
quickly so that they can go home. The cute yet hardworking SIET college gals ,centre of chennai near T nagar.They had sacrified so much of their white complex,facing the summer heat under the merge shadow of a tent.

Funny very funny! So how were the girls related to did you know abt the freebie offer?

ha ha...ha ha...See thats me..It happens all the time...You wont understand.

So what are you soing to do abt the bike?

lol ! its all been taken care of.... lol

how is that possible?? what abt the FIR?

see i ll tell you how..An old langotiya yaar of mine whom u know as Spiky AKA Col. Ivanod Spigot has been spending the past few month outside that college.As a result of that he's now dating a girl who's dad is a highly placed official in the police department of chennai.And as we speak at this very special moment of history,Spiky has asked the gal to help me out of this case.And she has assured us that the matter is well under the expertise of her beloved dad.

Ooh now i understand why did you say that the gals from SIET are cute and hardworking...Well why is she doing this....??

I have no idea. she's doing it thats all i want to know...

I tell you Shania, Its love... The girl is mad abt our Spiky.

Ok so that makes some sense....

The doorbell rang.I said who's that? the answer came "its me Spiky" We all answered in chorus " come on in"

Yeh! there he is, My saviour,The boy himself,boyfriend of the moment and year Col. Ivanod Spigot aka i am wrongly accused for genocide,rape and extortion and been sentenced to death penalty and my nearest and dearest friend is dating the president of India. how's that?

Orangee..leave yr stupid talks.... Let me tell you what did i accomplish you remember Richa from our school. I was mad behind her. remember???

Ya , the one who used to cry when she saw wall lizard on class room walls???

yup u got it....I saw her in city centre...and she recognised me.... and we talked for a while and she said that she wants to get back with me.

Go on...
( i was fearing the worst)

Ya thats when sheela came and she saw Richa going out.She spotted me with her. She asked whats going on. I told her that she's my long lost school day lover who wants to get back with me.

Sheela that new girl right??

ya ya....and now i was thinking what should i do? how would i tell her and console her. She asked me to speak the truth. And i said I am gonna get back with Richa.

What??? we all shouted in chorus.

what happened to the FIR and the out of the court dealing?
what FIR ,Court?? ooops i forgot abt that..

What the hell? My bike has been battered by that Mahindra scorpio and i want an insurance claim....

oooh dont worry,she ll still do it for you...infact she ll still do it for me..

Why why she ll do it? you dumped idiot you dumped her...

No no...I consoled her before i did.... no i said that i am going to get back with richa.

That means the same idiot, U dumped her. My bike it gone.....It will die bcoz of those wounds. Somebody file a FIR on that has assaulted my bike...

Relax Orangee! Its just an Yezdi roadking.people used to throw stones at you when u used to cross thier locality on that bike.Killing people who are already going to die isn't actually a crime. Yr bike has attained salvation from its earthy services.Ram Naam satya hae!

Shania and samir went to the balcony and started reciting....
Our Father ,who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name,
thy kingdom come,
thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven...........

Sunday, April 26, 2009

The phone call !

My first attempt at 55 fiction!!! :P

The phone rang for ages! Finally someone answered.

Hello Spiky! Orangee must be sleeping?

Hello Molly! No, he's gone out.

It means the same..tell him if he doesnt call me tonight,i ll never ever talk again.
Oh! Are you very angry?

No,But I am very serious.

Orangee never called back!

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Kush toh bahut hoge tum?

aaj khush toh bahut hoge tum?
joh aaj tak tumhari mandir ka raasta naahi dekha!
jissne aaj tak tumhare aage sir naahi jhukaya!
jissne aaj tak kabhi tumhare samne haath naahi joode
woh aaj tumhare samne haath fhalaye khada hae!
bahut kush hoge tum!
bahut kush hoge tum ki aaj main aa gaya..!!

lekin tum jante ho ki jis waqt main yahan khadha hun
woh ladki jiski chappal se madras university ki chokhat ki pathar giss gaya
woh ladki jispe lecture badhe toh tumhari pooja badhi
woh ladki jo zindagi baar padhai karte rahi,magar tumhare mandir me deep jalati raahi..
woh ladki ka aaj industrial economics ka paper hae..
aur yeh tumhari haar hae..haan yeh tumhari haar hae..

kya kasur hae uska?
kaunsa paap ??kaunsa jurm kiya hae usne...??
kya uska jurm yeh hae ki woh ek student hae?
kya uska jurm yeh hae ki usne mera orkut friend request accept kiya hae?
kya uska jurm yeh hae ki main uska dost hun?
yeh kis jurm ki saaza de ja rahi hae usse?
main college se nikal gaya...
mere dost jeeteji fail gaya...
mera ek dost graduate hote hue bhi beroozgar ho gaya.
maine tumse kabhi kuch naahi manga.
lekin aaj aaj mangta hun...

mere cheating karke pass hone ki saaza meri dost ko maat do..
main apne aapko tumhare hawale karta chahe kar lo
lekin meri dostka xm badiya jaana chahiye!
meri dostka xm badiya jaana chahiye!
meri dostka xm badiya jaana chahiye!
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