The phone!

Samir and More Orangee came back to More's apartment.More's Cellphone was stolen again.It happens all the time with him.This time Samir was to be blamed.He was the last known person to have it.

Orangee: I cant believe this! How can this happen again and again with me!

Samir: Well! it happens buddy...it happens..

Orangee: how could you leave the phone there at the sofa!

Samir: Well it wasnt feeling comfortable inside my pocket,and besides we were just two at the CCD,so I thought yr cellphone could get the extra seat beside me.

Orangee: So I shouldnt blame you, i should blame my cellphone which didnt signal us while we were leaving.Right?

Samir: Yup! you are right! I think it loved that place,the air-conditioned environment,the music,the girls.We were just a bunch of broing boys.It deserves that place.

Spiky enters the scene,smoking his fake cuban cigar!

Spiky: what happened? you look pissed off?

Orangee: Somebody stole my phone from CCD!

Spiky: Hmmm...wow! So we ll have a treat when u buy a new cellphone.Who stole it?

Orangee: I dont know! Somebody did it. We went back there, But i could find it.What should i do now? Go file an FIR at the police station?

Samir: What will they do?Its gone!

Orangee:Ya ya! You are right,Maybe i should call Vodafone care,block my SIM.

Spiky: Maybe you should call your phone!

Samir: Yes! we never tried doing that!Come on dial the number!

Orangee: Al right! lets give it a shot!

callertune playing-
He's a real nowhere man,

Sitting in his nowhere land,
Making all his nowhere plans
For nobody.
Doesn't have a point of view,
Knows not where he's going to,

stranger: Hello!
Orangee whipers-Its a girl!!!

Orangee: Hello! is this 9978456781?

Stranger: i have no idea abt that?

Orangee:Can ask you some questions?

Stranger:Ya sure!

Orangee: is this yr cellphone?

Stranger:No its not..

Orangee:Did you steal this phone from CCD today?

Stranger: yes i did!

Orangee:You did it...?? But its my cellphone..

Stranger: I didnt know it was yrs.

Spiky and samir could believe what they were hearing on the speaker phone.

Orangee: What are you going to do with my cellphone.

Stranger: Well i dont know! listen to songs, take pictures or sell it.

Orangee: Plz can i have it back??

Stranger: No i dont think so.

Spiky started waving his hands.he wanted to talk with this girl.Orangee handed the reciever to him.

Spiky:Hello!

Stranger:Ya hello! who's this?

Spiky: Its me Spiky! There are some good forward messages in his inbox,could you plz forward it to my number? its 99784001917!

Stranger: Hello Spiky!Ya sure i ll forward them.

Spiky: And dont worry! Its a postpaid connection! No worries with the balance and all.And also there are some phone numbers and picture of girls in his phone.Most of them are my girlfriends So plz mail them to me. spiky1917@gmail.com ! will you??

Stranger: No problems! I ll do that!

Spiky: Ya thanks a lot girl! Here I give it back to Orangee...

Samir graps the phone from Spiky,

Samir: Hello!

Stranger: Hello Orangee!

Samir: No its me Samir!

Stranger: hello Samir! whats up??

Samir: Wow u have a sweet voice!Can i have yr phone number?

Stranger: Sure! ask Orangee, he knows it....

The call is disconnected!

May be continued! :D

Refrigerator :- The forgotten mother

I've come to the conclusion that there are certain things in your life that play a very vital role in keeping your life comfortable. The irony is that we dont even think about them, forget about realizing their importance.The refrigerator is one such thing in our life.I guess everyone who reads this post would have a refrigerator at their home.

In modern world,the refrigerator is like the mother earth for all forms of foods.Be it dairy products,meat,vegetables,fruits or cold drinks and other hard drinks.It protects them,provides them an environment where they can live longer and breath fresh air and hang out comfortably. So when it does this it helps us too.Coz we want it to behave in that way.The better it plays this role,the more satisfied we are.

We dont have break up with only people.We also have them with the food that we eat.How many times it has happened while watching TV and gulping down that bottle of pepsi when u feel that "I have had enough of that pepsi..I cant take it...I am breaking off..." But there's still something in that bottle thats attracts you and u dont pour it down the sink. When yr neighbour sends home-made gulab jamuns just after u finish yr dinner, U know that u cant have more of them but still care for it.You want those gulab jamuns to stay near u for a longer time.Thats when the Refrigerator comes handy.You stuff all the left overs. So that u can spend time with those food later on.The poor refrigerator never complains.It accepts them with a wide open door.

So because of the refrigerator, what you can have is two life forms of matter that sometimes don't really ever want to be together, and the Refrigerator is like this relationship support system that keeps these strange,Stomachful relationships between humans and food alive.Not only this, it has to listen to those gossips that may happen inside it.The various food stuffs that boast abt who is the most fresh among all,who's got the most nutrition value and what not.It has to listen to these talks.What these innocent food item dont realize is that al of them are goin to be punished and they are goin to hell.This is the place where they should live in harmony.Some of them would be cut into some pieced, fried with oil or boiled.And then they will finally enter the human digestive system where various acids would be poured on them and make the shit out of them.

Humans are not just making a hole in the mother earth's ozone layer,They do that with the refrigerator too.Every time u dont close its doors properly u let the harmful heatwaves to enter its atmosphere. It still tries its best to maintain the atmosphere inside it work hard and take a big load on it compressor heart and you blame it for yr big electricity bill.And once something happens to it, you go mad.You call everywhere,trying to find someone who can bring it to life again. You yell at the serviceman when he come late. You realize that u cant live with the refrigerator.Your kitchen seems to be more spacious bcoz of the refrigerator's absence but it doesnt make you happy.You want the serviceman to fix it fast.The summers get more hotter.Life is never like the way it was.And when it finally returns you forget everything and settle down with the usual way of life.


It never sleeps.Its sole purpose is to keep u happy and it works right from day one when it steps into yr house.Occasionally it gets rest when there's a powercut or when u decide to empty it and switch it off before u go for yr vacation. Who else serve's you this way?Only your refrigerator works and works for you as you eat and keep your stomach full.So the next time when u open the doors of your fridge,give it a bear hug and a kiss,i am sure its machine heart would miss a heart beat... :P :)

The Insurance assurance !

My god is it yr bike that's parked outside the apartment?

I came out of the kitchen to confirm the source of the query. Yes it was Shania, as usual she did nt ring the doorbell.

"Does it still resemble a bike?" i replied back.

My god! its yrs,how did it happen? when did it happen are you alright??

relax baby,I am superman,the man of steel !

man of steel ???what happened to the orange theory???

ooh that is still valid,I was nt there in the scene of action when my bike face that atrocity.
Then how did it happen??

Well if u could plz enter that room you can see the man of the moment Mr Samir.

Shania moves into the room..

Samir? why did he take yr bike?ooh my god! are you ok Samir?

Samir had a fractured left hand and some bruises scattered over his body like a natural art.He was a spectacular piece of natural wonder. I had no idea how and why he was alive and that too in my apartment.Interestingly Samir managed to get up from the bed and say hi to Shania.

Hi Shania! I am ok...just some minor things...I am alright..I am alright...he he..

Ya the minor things have so far cost ed over 1500 bucks...just for the hospital and misc expenses.



what abt the bike? What are you going to do abt that?You have insurance right?

ha ha ha...The insurance..ha ha ha....


What?? what makes you laugh??

Baby!! its a police case now.....Some one has filed a FIR against this respectable man.He doesnt have a driving license.The insurance company wont pay my bills after going thru that FIR report.

Hey buddy! listen i am sorry..I thought that they will run out of stock..That was the reason i was driving rash..

what are you guys talking abt?

Hmm nothing....he's just... he's just gone crazy after the accident.

Shania was puzzled.

They were giving away free samples of Minute maid pulpy orange,So he sent me and this happened.Hey orangee look i am sorry...

I dont blame you,I blame myself.

ooh no blame me...i am the one responsible for this....blame me...

ok i blame you....its you.

How can you blame him?You gave him the bike.You wanted to have those free sample of pulpy orange.che!!! so cheap !!

Alright!! alright!! ceasefire,ceasefire.its over its over..there's no point blaming each other.

I went back to the kitchen and started preparing my cheese toast.Meanwhile Shania went to the balcony so that she can have a proper look of my battered bike.She could stop smiling. And not just a plain smile.It was the "you know i told you very well but you never listened to me" kind of a smile. Damn! I was very angry on Samir.Why the hell did he tell abt the freebie.It was so trivial.He didnt drive properly.

I told you that one day yr lust for oranges would cost you very high...and see it has happened.

he he...I was nt lustful abt the juice. I was only helping those college gals finish off their part time work quickly so that they can go home. The cute yet hardworking SIET college gals ,centre of chennai near T nagar.They had sacrified so much of their white complex,facing the summer heat under the merge shadow of a tent.

Funny very funny! So how were the girls related to you....how did you know abt the freebie offer?

ha ha...ha ha...See thats me..It happens all the time...You wont understand.

So what are you soing to do abt the bike?

lol ! its all been taken care of.... lol

how is that possible?? what abt the FIR?

see i ll tell you how..An old langotiya yaar of mine whom u know as Spiky AKA Col. Ivanod Spigot has been spending the past few month outside that college.As a result of that he's now dating a girl who's dad is a highly placed official in the police department of chennai.And as we speak at this very special moment of history,Spiky has asked the gal to help me out of this case.And she has assured us that the matter is well under the expertise of her beloved dad.

Ooh now i understand why did you say that the gals from SIET are cute and hardworking...Well why is she doing this....??

I have no idea. she's doing it thats all i want to know...

I tell you Shania, Its love... The girl is mad abt our Spiky.

Ok so that makes some sense....

The doorbell rang.I said who's that? the answer came "its me Spiky" We all answered in chorus " come on in"

Yeh! there he is, My saviour,The boy himself,boyfriend of the moment and year Col. Ivanod Spigot aka Spiky....here i am wrongly accused for genocide,rape and extortion and been sentenced to death penalty and my nearest and dearest friend is dating the president of India. how's that?

Orangee..leave yr stupid talks.... Let me tell you what did i accomplish today..do you remember Richa from our school. I was mad behind her. remember???

Ya , the one who used to cry when she saw wall lizard on class room walls???

yup u got it....I saw her in city centre...and she recognised me.... and we talked for a while and she said that she wants to get back with me.

Go on...
( i was fearing the worst)

Ya thats when sheela came and she saw Richa going out.She spotted me with her. She asked whats going on. I told her that she's my long lost school day lover who wants to get back with me.

Sheela that new girl right??

ya ya....and now i was thinking what should i do? how would i tell her and console her. She asked me to speak the truth. And i said I am gonna get back with Richa.

What??? we all shouted in chorus.


what happened to the FIR and the out of the court dealing?
what FIR ,Court?? ooops i forgot abt that..


What the hell? My bike has been battered by that Mahindra scorpio and i want an insurance claim....

oooh dont worry,she ll still do it for you...infact she ll still do it for me..

Why why she ll do it? you dumped her...you idiot you dumped her...

No no...I consoled her before i did.... no i said that i am going to get back with richa.

That means the same idiot, U dumped her. My bike it gone.....It will die bcoz of those wounds. Somebody file a FIR on that Scorpio.it has assaulted my bike...

Relax Orangee! Its just an Yezdi roadking.people used to throw stones at you when u used to cross thier locality on that bike.Killing people who are already going to die isn't actually a crime. Yr bike has attained salvation from its earthy services.Ram Naam satya hae!

Shania and samir went to the balcony and started reciting....
Our Father ,who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name,
thy kingdom come,
thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven...........

The phone call !

My first attempt at 55 fiction!!! :P




The phone rang for ages! Finally someone answered.

Hello Spiky! Orangee must be sleeping?

Hello Molly! No, he's gone out.

It means the same..tell him if he doesnt call me tonight,i ll never ever talk again.
Oh! Are you very angry?

No,But I am very serious.

Orangee never called back!

Kush toh bahut hoge tum?

aaj khush toh bahut hoge tum?
dekho!
joh aaj tak tumhari mandir ka raasta naahi dekha!
jissne aaj tak tumhare aage sir naahi jhukaya!
jissne aaj tak kabhi tumhare samne haath naahi joode
woh aaj tumhare samne haath fhalaye khada hae!
bahut kush hoge tum!
bahut kush hoge tum ki aaj main aa gaya..!!

lekin tum jante ho ki jis waqt main yahan khadha hun
woh ladki jiski chappal se madras university ki chokhat ki pathar giss gaya
woh ladki jispe lecture badhe toh tumhari pooja badhi
woh ladki jo zindagi baar padhai karte rahi,magar tumhare mandir me deep jalati raahi..
woh ladki ka aaj industrial economics ka paper hae..
aur yeh tumhari haar hae..haan yeh tumhari haar hae..

kya kasur hae uska?
kaunsa paap ??kaunsa jurm kiya hae usne...??
kya uska jurm yeh hae ki woh ek student hae?
kya uska jurm yeh hae ki usne mera orkut friend request accept kiya hae?
kya uska jurm yeh hae ki main uska dost hun?
yeh kis jurm ki saaza de ja rahi hae usse?
main college se nikal gaya...
mere dost jeeteji fail gaya...
mera ek dost graduate hote hue bhi beroozgar ho gaya.
maine tumse kabhi kuch naahi manga.
lekin aaj aaj mangta hun...

mere cheating karke pass hone ki saaza meri dost ko maat do..
main apne aapko tumhare hawale karta hun...jo chahe kar lo
lekin meri dostka xm badiya jaana chahiye!
meri dostka xm badiya jaana chahiye!
meri dostka xm badiya jaana chahiye!

Michelle!!!

Where the steering wheel is held without fear

and the head is held high,

Where road ahead is free;

Where the engine has not been broken

up into fragments by the mechanics;

Where power come out from the

depth of throttle pedal;

Where tireless striving of the pistons

stretches itself towards

perfection;

Where the clear stream of engine oil and fuel

has not lost its way into the

dreary dusty tarmac of roads;

Where the spirit is led forward

by thee(driver) into ever-widening

adrenaline rush and nirvana.

The creature that takes you to

that heaven of freedom,

my Father,

Sold that car away.......

inspired by Tagore

Cards vs Cash!

I went to cafe coffee day the other day with a friend of mine.I love CCD, helps me in practicing multitasking. The stepup they have over helps u in improving this trait of yrs. You can have a cup of coffee,watch the plasma TV,listen to worldspace radio and watch what yr friend or other people are doing inside the cafe, all at the same time.



So as usual I was enjoying my cup of Kapi nirvana and listening to what my friend had to say.Had a nice time and then it was time to leave the place.I called the waitress and asked her for the bill.Moments later she brought the bill . I took the debit card from my wallet and placed it inside little black book or file that was used to bring the bill. She noticed that I wanted to pay through the card and came near me and spoke it the most polite manner "sorry sir! we have a problem with the machine! yr card wont work" If it wasnt for her voice I would have passed sarcastic comments abt how they always have a problem with that machine.I didnt have enough cash and asked my friend to pay the bill for now.I ll settle the amount once we reach an ATM.She paid the bill but was annoyed with me.I knew the reason but I felt it was better not to start the arguement about it.But she could nt control her feeling and came out with it-

She:-"why do u never carry cash along with u"
Me:-"What i do have 200 bucks cash and my debit card"
She:-"No! i dont wanna hear about yr debit card and the various offers associated with it.i am asking abt cash"
Me:-"well u wont understand"
She:-"understand what?"
Me:-"Ok! Ok! ceasefire! ceasefire! I will carry cash along with me"

Well this is a editted account of the arguement we had that day!


I just dont understand why some people feel proud to carry cash along with them and not feel the same way about a debit card! Do they feel superior when they get to sport a bundle of 100 or 500 rupee notes...Is it a feeling of superiority or safety.I dont understand what it is?They feel as if they are unwanted in a shop if they wish to pay through a debit or credit card.They ll behave with the shopkeeper as if the card is a note from the bank that says "excuse me shopkeeper! This person isnt carrying enough cash.please let him/her take what ever he/she wants.We ll pay u back in some time.We regret for the inconvenience caused!" They remind me of the school days when after a conflict or some other problem we were allowed inside the class only after we showed the teacher a written note from our parents that said something like"please allow our son/daughter inside the class.We assure u that this kind of behaviour wont be repeated again."

Well there are still a lot many shops that dont accept cards but then we can always plan our trip.We have ATM machines almost everywhere.And then facilties like freedom banking and etc make it easier for us to withdraw cash from any ATM machine.Now what is more safe and easy? Cards or cash?

P.S:-I dedicate this blogpost to a person who has a habit of carrying a handbag thats somehow related to a swiss army knife(cousins I guess) A purse that contains almost everything that can be used,but more things that are usually never used.